What is your understanding of self-love? Do you feel like you love yourself enough?
The way I understand it is that the feeling is purely internal, but we can always boost it with positive actions and powerful self-care rituals. You see, we frequently mix self-love with self-care. Many of us believe that a fancy cream or an extra layer of eye shadow would make you love yourself more and in some cases, I think it does if it expresses an authentic version of who you are. But many times if we carry a lot of trapped emotions, unexpressed anger, resentment, guilt, shame, we block ourselves from experiencing what self-love truly is.
So why would we do that, you would ask?
When our hearts are broken, we are afraid to open ourselves to love. Our hearts could get broken going through a painful breakup, feeling rejected by the mother or father or other family members. When we experience rejection, we tend to close ourselves, our hearts, so the first step to deepen your self-love would be to start thinking about the heartbreaks.
I also see self-love as a full-body experience. If you had experienced abuse or again if your body is holding onto a lot of trapped emotions or if you grew up observing one of your parents having a self judgemental relationship with their body you might not even know how to love and connect to your body, so you might start opening up your heart to love but if your body is screaming it is not safe to love, you are holding onto a lot of hate towards yourself and your body, every time you would start opening your heart to love, your body would scream STOP. These trapped emotions could also be a reason why you can’t lose weight because gaining weight makes you feel safe in your body; it acts as a shield or protection from being hurt again.
The third essential thing to mention is our mind-body connection.
What we feed our mind directly influences the actions we take daily. If you keep playing the negative record in your mind from self-hatred, judgement, self pitty and every time you see yourself in a mirror you find something negative instead of the positive, you reflect that back to yourself multiplying the negative feelings you already carry. Once again, you end up closing your heart and your body stopping not only the flow of love but also you shut yourself from fully experiencing life.
So how do you reverse it?
Acknowledge the heartbreaks, I know they are not easy to face, but that is where the healing will start.
Start connecting with your body by not being afraid to touch it, especially the areas that you have rejected the most.
Start using positive affirmations and observing your thought patterns to empower yourself to take more mindful and inspired action.